Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
