I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
