If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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