omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
