I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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