the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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