Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
