I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
