How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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