We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
