Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
