i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have tasted many bathrooms
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
