Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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