I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
