1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
