we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
