the day after is always just damage control
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
