have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
