Betty ford says i'm here all night
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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