How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
