i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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