is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
