You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
