my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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