i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
