so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
