you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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