when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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