OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
