This is not my ceiling
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
