And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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