there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
