Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
