I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
