I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my being single is dangerous.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
