Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
