Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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