When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
