she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would fuck him just for his dog
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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