Buhtt sex?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
