I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
