that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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