so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
