I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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