i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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