he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
