I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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