Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
