i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
