Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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