I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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